iDon't Have A Title
by lovethispain
Summary: This is mostly in another person's POV. one-shot. I suck at summaries. It's after iOMG but not right after. Read it? Review? I haven't posted a story in forever.


**_I make graphics, I don't write. So I apologize in advance for this sucking but an idea popped into my head when I was shopping today and I wrote it. Read, Review if you like it. I don't even know what this is. It's obviously after iOMG, but not right after. There is some reference to it but it's not the whole point of the story._**

Sam dragged her feet over the multicolored slate ties as she listened to Freddie drone on about something having to do with Carly's birthday party. Bumping into him every few minutes with her shoulders. She was bored and hungry but the stipulation for having him tag along was that she would wait until their shopping extravaganza was over before they ate. All so they could go to the new pizza place that had opened up just a few miles from Bushwell Plaza. Freddie promised it would be worth it, and as much as Sam hated to admit it, he was usually right when it came to pizza place selections, he hadn't steered her wrong yet, so she would wait.

To any other observer the two looked like friends walking through the mall. But to a girl that sat on a bench in the middle of the mall watching as the blonde hip checked the brunette boy, she knew different. She watched as the boy stopped walking, folded his arms over his chest, and rolled his eyes. The blonde girl who didn't stand more than 5'4 stopped and stared back challengingly grabbed at the boys arm and laughed when he said something obviously irritated. The blonde grabbed at his bicep to get him walking again. It seemed like the boy was still irritated until the girl linked her arm through his and laughed at something he said. All the tension in his body drained away as they continued walking and he was the one to bump into the blonde this time. She laughed again and the onlooker had to roll her eyes.

It was her fault, really she shouldn't be angry after all this time but it was hard. He had made her think that she could be the be all and end all of his entire world.

For a couple months anyway.

Caitlin McKeever tried to tear her eyes away from them but it was useless. The brunette boy was completely enthralled by the blonde.

It hurt. 5 months later, and it still hurt. Megan and Macy tried to warn her. They told her repeatedly that Freddie Benson wasn't someone you could date. He might seem like a nice guy but his heart belonged to someone else. At the time her friends weren't specific. So when he asked her to the winter wonderland dance after a student council meeting, she was elated. She had heard the rumors about him and his semi famous best friend Carly. Everyone knew that he "loved" her but everyone also knew that he had vowed to get over her the end of his junior year. So they went to a dance, and he asked her out again the next weekend.

He kissed her on her front porch and smiled his perfect smile and she was putty in his hands. Sure he was kind of a nerd, but he had made a considerable effort to change that. From the summer in between junior and senior year he could be found at the rec center working out. It was a slow progression but by the time he started his senior year, for all intents and purposes, Freddie Benson was hot. Something that didn't go unnoticed by the general girl population at Ridgeway. He went out with a few girls but nothing ever came of it.

So after their 4th date and quite the make out session that occurred after in his car she was sure that she was special, that Megan and Macy were wrong and she was easily the luckiest girl in the entire senior class. It was during this same time that _she_popped up in his world out of nowhere.

Well it seemed like nowhere but looking back it really wasn't. She knew that she existed, she watched iCarly even if it was just for the hope of seeing her, more than friend, she couldn't say boyfriend, because he wasn't that. He was never that to her.

Red flags should have been thrown out in front of her face when she watched as the blonde girl put her tongue in his ear on more than one occasion. But it didn't. She had seen it before, it wasn't anything new. They argued on screen and he talked about her every now and then, but there were no warning signs as far as she could see.

So when his phone vibrated from his pocket when they were in his car kissing she didn't think anything of it. He ignored it the first two times but by the third he was a little irritated. He paused his ministrations and pulled his pear shaped phone out of his jeans pocket, apologizing. He put in the unlock code and stared at the screen. He sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. He placed the phone back in his pocket and asked where were they, and so the kissing continued until the phone went off again. He stopped again, and apologized once again and pulled out his phone. This time after entering the unlock code he texted someone. The thought occurred to her that is was odd that someone would be texting him past midnight, but she let it slide. After all he was there in his car with her. She asked if everything was alright, and his vague answer was one that should have made her question him more, but she was in a bubble of infatuation. She couldn't see anything but his big brown eyes and crooked grin, so when he told her a friend needed him, she didn't question it. After all, they weren't exclusive. So she didn't have a right. She had seen enough movies to know how this worked. You didn't get jealous if you weren't exclusive. Not that jealousy was even a thought at that time, because Caitlin being Caitlin just assumed it was Gibby or Brad, the blonde headed demon, which she was sometimes referred to was the farthest person from her mind. Carly's face drifted into her focus when she thought of possible friends but it wasn't enough to cause concern.

She would later learn that Megan and Macy were not talking about Carly Shay.

The following weekend, a similar occurrence happened but they were at her house and her parents weren't there and things were suppose to happen. Not THINGS, but some things. That was the plan until he got a text message three hours before midnight and kissed her before leaving, apologizing and being vague about having to help someone out.

The Monday after that weekend, she popped up.

After the student council meeting she was sitting on the hood of his car when they walked out of the school hand in hand playing with her hair. She didn't see them before they approached so Caitlin got a chance to get a good look at this girl that sat nonchalantly on the hood of his car. Her hair was golden, like some kind of hair that you would see on a pantene pro v commercial. She wore a ramones tshirt that hugged her petite body, a pair of jeans that had been cut off to be worn as cropped pants and bright yellow converse that matched the sunglasses that rested upon her face. Her face was fixated on the ends of her hair until she heard footsteps.

Freddie tensed when he saw the blonde, but it didn't register with her. She just assumed it was because of their violent history which most everyone knew about.

"What's up Sam?" Freddie questioned his friend.

She smiled brightly. "I need your help." That was all it took. His posture relaxed and his grip lessened on the brunette's hand that he was holding.

"I'm busy." He answered walking towards the drivers side of the car. Sam was fast though and jumped off and beat him to it.

"Please?" She looked up at him and into his eyes and she half smiled at him. He let go of Caitlin's hand then, and crossed his arms and stood his ground.

"No, I told you I'm busy."

This seemed to irritate the blonde and she went to punch the boy but he caught her hand before it could reach him. She let out a groan of frustration.

"Ughh Benson, seriously."

"Ughh Puckett, no." His tone was one of finality.

"Freddie please." She sounded so sincere and I watched as he melted at the sound of her voice.

He hadn't let go of her hand that was still in the shape of a fist. This wasn't unnoticed by Caitlin.

"Freddie?" Caitlin had to say something because the awkward standing and quiet was getting to be too much.

He released the blondes hand and the blonde smirked at her. It registered then that maybe things weren't what they seemed with the two in front of her, but she tried to push the thought out of her mind. Freddie was on the way to being her boyfriend.

"Sam this is Caitlin, I don't know if you know each other or not." Freddie motioned between the two girls. And the blonde looked like she had been slapped in the face but it was only for a brief second and then the look was replaced with a bored expression. But Caitlin saw it.

"Sup?" She said this as she waved to both of them and walked away.

Freddie watched her go, until she made it back inside the Ridgeway entrance door.

"Sorry about that." Freddie apologized and it occurred to Caitlin that this probably wasn't the first time he had apologized for Sam. She got a sinking feeling in her stomach but tried to push it down.

He kissed her on the cheek and they went for ice cream and things seemed like things were going to be okay.

As quick as she had popped up in Freddie's world, it seemed like she disappeared even faster. Three weeks. Three weeks of long nights making out and laughing at stupid movies and him telling her how pretty she was and how down to earth and wonderful she was and she was sure it was only a matter of time before he would be hers. They would be official and all thoughts of Sam were gone. She was wrong.

On the Friday before the horrific Saturday, she made the mistake of asking if he was her boyfriend, he had laughed it off and sidestepped her question. Caitlin didn't push though, she had seen and read enough to know not to push. So she didn't.

Then Saturday happened, they were at Freddie's and things went further then they ever had before. She was sure it meant something because this was Freddie and he was a nice guy. They didn't go all the way but it got intense. They stopped before things could go any further and Freddie said something about how his mom would be home soon so she kissed him goodbye with the hope of seeing him in the morning for breakfast.

Caitlin left her purse. If she hadn't, she wouldn't have known. If she had grabbed it when she walked away things would be different now.

Or maybe they wouldn't.

It was two hours after leaving his apartment that she realized that she forgot it. She didn't think she needed to call, because it wouldn't be a big deal to swing by and get it, maybe make out a little more in the hall with his mom inside.

When she arrived at Bushwell Plaza and went to knock on the door of his apartment, the door was already slightly ajar, which struck her as odd. She tried to knock, but no one came to the door. She stepped inside to the sound of voices raised. Freddie's being one and she couldn't make out the other. She did however know that it wasn't his mom. And she let her mind wonder where his mom was.

"You can fuck whoever you want Benson, I don't really give a shit." No it definitely wasn't his mom.

"I didn't sleep with her okay, and I'm not going to. I just needed something to get my mind off of all of this." Freddie was yelling. Caitlin wanted to cry.

"You're the one who told me to forget it, to date whoever, do whatever, and it's not like I didn't try with you."

"You didn't try hard enough!" Came the girls reply.

"Are you fucking kidding me, seven months, I tried to hang out with you, but you wouldn't have it. You wouldn't even talk to me! If it wasn't for iCarly you probably would have completely ignored me." Freddie was upset. It was in his voice, and Caitlin knew with that one sentence who he was talking to.

"You said and I quote, forget it Benson, this didn't happen, forget it, forget everything, and please let everything go back to normal… I tried to do that, but you wouldn't let me. You just assumed that every time that I wanted to hang out with you it was out of pity. You were so scared I was only hanging out with you because of that night. But I wasn't. I was trying with everything I had to make you see that I WANTED to spend time with you."

"Fuck you." was her reply. Caitlin knew she needed to let people know she was there or run away from this but her curiosity kept her fixated in her spot.

"Is that really the best you've got?" Freddie questioned what Caitlin knew to be a blonde headed girl in the next room. "If you can admit that it bothers you, if you can tell me that the night of the lock in was a big deal, I'll break it off. Whatever it is, it ends. All you have to do is tell me you aren't sorry for it and all my efforts go back to you. Every last fucking one."

There was silence.

"But you can't do that can you? Poor Samantha Puckett is so scared of getting her heart broke that she would rather see the person that she's **in love with**be with someone else." Freddie sighed.

"Is it worth it? I mean is it really worth it? We could be really great together Sam. You get me like no one ever has, and all you have to do is smile at me and I am a mess for days. Does that sound like someone who doesn't reciprocate your feelings?" Freddie was all but yelling.

"Then why are you with her?" Sam's reply was broken. It sounded like she was about to cry.

"Because you won't let me be with you. I tried to kiss you and you punched me in the stomach. I tried to put my arm around you and you grabbed my hand and threatened to break my fingers. I tried Sam, I tried every day for seven months, but you wouldn't have it. And I told you that I was done trying and you acted like it didn't matter. Like saying what you said to me with that kiss really didn't matter. What was I suppose to think after trying as much as I did?

So I started dating girls. Girls who would willingly go to the movies with me, instead of having to drag you and make sure that Carly was there as a buffer. That was ridiculous Sam, we don't need a buffer."

Caitlin took a seat on the ground where she was, she wanted to cry but no tears would come out.

"Why won't you just try?" Freddie sounded sad and it made her want to cry even more.

How could Caitlin not see it? The answer was simple.

She didn't want too. All the late night text messages, all the vague replies, it was all because of Sam. To think she thought it was Carly who would be the one who would stand in the way, she hadn't thought about the other girl. The one she now noticed as she thought back that his eyes linger a little longer on, the one who he is constantly trying to get a reaction from. She had heard it was the other way around, that it was always Sam bothering him, but as she thought about it she was wrong. He initiated everything that went on between them as far as she could tell.

"You love Carly." It was said like a fact.

"Are you serious?" Freddie sounded almost appalled.

"Yes."

"Are you kidding me right now, you KNOW that's not true. I spent seven months trying to prove to you that it wasn't Carly that I wanted. Yeah it took me a couple months to figure it out but you wouldn't have anything to do with me outside of Carly. You can act like that's what this is about all you want but I know you're just scared."

"I'm not scared, I don't get scared," Came her defiant toned answer.

"Right… you don't get scared. You are scared of everything Sam. You're scared of change, you're scared of love, you're scared to let your guard down. So don't tell me you don't get scared."

"Fuck you."

"Real original, I've never heard that before."

"UGHHHH why are you doing this!" Sam was frustrated. Caitlin knew she needed to leave, that she needed to end things, whatever they were with Freddie. But she just kept listening.

"Me? You came here, you are the one who started this." Freddie replied exasperation in his voice.

"Well then forget I came here, go make out with your little wanna be Carly girlfriend and leave me the fuck alone."

"That's not gonna happen, I tried that once before. It didn't work out. And Caitlin is NOT my girlfriend."

"What the fuck ever Benson, I'm out of here." The door creaked open slightly. "I swear to God if you don't let me go I will make you sterile. Wanna try me?"

The door slammed shut after that and things were quiet. Caitlin could have guessed what was happening, she didn't need to be a rocket scientist to figure it out. She pushed herself up off the ground, grabbed her purse from the coffee table in the Benson's living room and ran to her car. She cried for days and text Freddie that they were done. She wasn't surprised when he didn't text back. It hurt none the less and now she continues to watch them as they walk through the mall. Not acting like anything more than friends. She stares sadly in their direction, and wonders what happened with them, out of some morbid curiosity.

"Hey isn't that your girlfriend?" Sam asks nodding towards the girl on the bench who now appeared to be on her cell phone.

Freddie looked in the direction of where Sam was motioning and saw Caitlin McKeever. He still felt bad for how things went down. He should have been more careful with her. He was pretty sure that she hated him, and that didn't sit well with him. He also knew that having her in his life wasn't something he couldn't do without. He shrugged his shoulders in response to the blonde on his right.

"She was never my girlfriend." Freddie said as he locked eyes with Sam. He raised his eyebrows at her and she rolled her eyes.

"Whatever fudgeface lets find this present for Carly so we can eat. Momma's hungry." Sam put her hand behind her back and Freddie grabbed it. It was a simple gesture but it meant everything.

The two walked into another store like that and Caitlin was greeted by her friends. She got off the bench and walked away to go shoe shopping. It still hurt, but not as much as it use to. She would live without him, she could, and she would.


End file.
